I want to ask each of you to help me in my efforts to defeat Proposition 8 on the California ballot on November 4.  I know this post looks long, but if you read all the way through, I promise you some juicy details at the end!

Tim and I will be celebrating 10 years together this December and as dear friends, you have all been terribly supportive of us as a couple over that time.  Politically though, these 10 years have been a constant roller coaster in terms of gay rights and gay marriage.  In 2000, almost 62% of California voters passed the Knight Initiative (Proposition 22, also oddly named the “California Defense of Marriage Act”) effectively banning same sex marriage in the State.

Then on February 12, 2004, Mayor Newsom of San Francisco began to issue marriage licenses to same sex couples, believing that the state laws governing same sex marriage were discriminatory and unconstitutional.

As you all know, Tim and I waited in line for 16 hours that weekend, and on February 15, we were married in city hall.  We were one of 3,955 same sex couples that were legally married from February 12 to March 11 of that year, when the California Supreme Court ordered the City of San Francisco to stop issuing same sex marriage licenses pending legal review.  Unfortunately, on August 12 of that year, the Supreme Court declared all 3,955 marriages void.  The state sent Tim and I a letter informing us that we were no longer legally married.  We keep that letter with the original marriage certificate.

Tim and I never stopped loving each other.  Voiding our marriage did not make us feel differently about one another nor did it change anything in our day to day routines.  Fortunately, we are surrounded by friends and family like you that continued to support us and support our relationship.  We have never stopped wearing the rings that we exchanged that day in 2004.

But here we are today, fighting the battle be accepted yet again.  Proposition 8 on this year’s November Ballot (aptly titled “Eliminates Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry“) will, if passed, add the following to the state constitution:

Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California

This will effectively remove any right for Tim and I, and the thousands of other gay couples in the state, to be married - a right that was only earlier this year upheld by the California Supreme Court.

At this point, we know that 40% of voters will absolutely vote Yes on this proposition.  We also know that 40% will vote No.  It’s that undecided 20% that we need your help with.  Polls as recent as this morning show that we are losing ground and that the majority of that 20% is leaning towards amending the constitution and removing our right to marry.

Frankly, it would be wrong for me to presume how each of you stand on this issue.  Personal beliefs are just that, personal.   But I do ask you to consider how important an issue we are dealing with here.  This is about equality as much as anything else.  Some would argue that this is not about rights but about “protecting the sanctity of marriage”.  After all, Tim and I have many of the same legal rights as married couples under domestic partnership, so why should the use of the word “marriage” matter?  I can only speak personally on that point: to me, words matter.  Did it change my life to be told that my marriage was no longer valid?  Nope.  But I can tell you that it hurt.  It hurt my feelings to be told that at some level, my relationship with Tim had to be segregated and differentiated from everyone else’s.

So here is the bottom line.  We are worried.  We are very worried that as we get closer and closer to the election, the odds are becoming greater and greater that the proposition will pass.  Churches and other organizations, many outside of the state, are sending millions of dollars and busing thousands of volunteers into California to help with the Yes on 8 campaign.  And this action is swaying the crucial 20%.

I am also very worried about the 40% that will vote No.  Will they take the time to vote?  Will they take the time to get all the way to the end of ballot to vote on this proposition?

We are so worried that we are getting married (again).  Even if Proposition 8 passes, it is very likely that any marriage performed before the amendment will remain valid.  So on Thursday morning, October 23rd, Tim and I will again exchange vows at City Hall in San Francisco.  A huge part of me is filled with joy to have the privilege of once again publicly declaring our love and commitment.  But a little part of me is disappointed that I have to do this again, that somehow the first time did not count.  Regardless though, we are thrilled to have the opportunity to marry, when so many in other parts are the country must still hide their commitment or relegate it to a second tier of legal standing.  We hope that right is not taken away on November 4.

Money helps tremendously at this point and if you want to give (as Tim and I have done), use this site (I have a friend on their board and I know the money is well spent):

http://www.eqca.org

But in these last 17 days before November 4, the best thing you can do is to talk to people. Make it a point to let people you encounter in your daily life know that this is important.  Put up a yard sign, wear a button, do whatever you can do to spread the word that you don’t stand for and will not tolerate exclusion and discrimination.

I think most people realize that some day, we will look back on this issue and feel disbelief that we ever even argued it.  Let’s try to make that day come soon.

Tim absolutely hates to celebrate his birthday, so I have respected his wishes this year.  No surprise party, no big dinner.  Just a normal day.  But if you are as happy as I am that Tim has been around for four full decades as of today, feel free to email him and let him know .   Make sure to congratulate him on his very successful run of the Dipsea Trail yesterday.

Tim and I just got back from a great vacation in Mexico. We went to Club Med in Cancun on another trip sponsored by Atlantis and as usual, we had a fantastic time. Great weather, a really nice facility, and we met a lot of really great new friends. We also had the added bonus of traveling with Brian and Garth, which was really great.

Neither Tim nor I have ever been to an all-inclusive resort and frankly, I had pretty low expectations. But I have to say that I was more then pleasantly surprised at the quality of the facilities, and especially at the quality food and drinks. One odd thing though…since Club Med is a French company, the food was much more French influenced then Mexican. Poor Tim craved nachos the entire time we were there, and although the dining room was overflowing with fois gras and terine, there was not a nacho in site.

We booked the Jade Suite and it was very nice. It was in a separate building that was a little isolated from the main part of the Club Med village but that turned out to be an asset. The room was quite large and came with a very large bathroom with tons of closet space (two things that tend to be important for Tim and I). We liked the room well enough to actually reserve the same space for the same trip in 2009.

As with every Atlantis event we have attended, the people on this trip were exceptional. We found the land resort to be just a little more laid back then the cruises, and if anything the people were even friendlier. We met a great group from the Dallas area that was celebrating a gaggle of 40th birthdays, and a really fun couple from Montreal that will be traveling on the Solstice Cruise with us next March (howdy Robert and Stephan!). And then of course there was Kyle. Firefighter, EMT, Laser God from Portland. His subliminal messaging about swimming in the sea was almost too funny to handle. We can hardly wait to see you again in September here in San Francisco Kyle! Last, but by no means least, we also met a real loner from Denver that we couldn’t seem to shake (love you Mike Jones, mean it!). No silly, not that Mike Jones from Denver!

Lots of pool time on this vacation, which was 100% a-OK with me. The beach was really nice but y’all know I hate sand so I ventured out there very little. Oh, and the dead guy on the beach the day we arrived put a little damper on that area for me. No really. Dead guy. On the beach. For about 3 hours. Sad but true.

Also true was that the theme parties on this trip were great. Sure, they are a little smaller then the ones on the ships (but there were only about 600 people at the resort compared to 3000 on the ships) but that made them all the more intimate and enjoyable. On the ships the parties seem to go until 5:00 or 6:00 in the morning while at the resort, they started early and ended about 2:00am. I guess maybe I am getting old but that was plenty of time for me, and it made the next day much more reasonable. However, I am not sure I can hear Bleeding Love or Apologize one more time this year. And thanks to Lee I know ALL the words to both now!

New for this trip…I took a ton of video that I will compile later this week and post to the site. For now, here is a gallery of pictures (thanks Kraig for some of the shots!).

[Show as slideshow]

 

I drove down to Hollister yesterday to visit my grandmother and on the way back I stopped to see Wendy and Dave.  Laine had just the day before decided that she could ride her dirt bike sans training wheels so of course I had her demo for me.  Those girls are just too damn cute.  Check out the quick video I took with my new Flip Video Camera (more on that later, it rocks).